"When I Grow Up": in 1937, 1998, 2008

Someone really needs to smoosh these videos together. Here stars Shirley Temple, Shirley Manson, and Nicole Shirley-Zinger:






It's weird how seamlessly the Pussycat Dolls and Shirley Temple lyrics weave into each other. Check out these side-by-side comparisons, in which each lyric is matched to its exact counterpart:

But I ain't complaining when I grow up
We all wanna be famous in a year or two or three
Go ahead say what you wanna say I'll be happy as can be
Know what it's like to be nameless like a birdie in the tree
Want them to know what your name is when I grow up
'Cause see when I was younger I would say there's a lot I want to do

***

When I grow up with flowers in her hand
I wanna see the world and such a veil I never saw
Drive nice cars the biggest in the land
I wanna have groupies four little girls were standing there

Neat! Appalling!

Meanwhile, Shirley Manson sings about her pain bombastic, dreaming of a little freedom from her mental illness. As marketable as she once was, as skinny and white as she'll ever be, Manson's still sticks out from the shining optimistic, can-whore America of the Dolls and Temple.

I have to admit, I enjoyed it when Temple, in her first verse, seems to be mocking Manson's sensitivity to rain. For a toddler in 1937, that is both prescient and incisive.

I like this song. I like to pretend it's about blogging:



It's cool how it takes place in the midst of toilet paper, before magically relocating to Tom Cruise's Legend. Also, how the drummer is dressed exactly like Wolverine, and has almost the same hair, and even waves his drumsticks around like they're claws. I was confused for a moment, the good kind! Also, I have to commend the girl in the children's choir, who starts picking her nose at 3:07. That kid's a hero.

I'd subtract points from Pat, who does very little here in terms of break-dancing. (You know Toni Basil would've break-danced during this shit.) However, all's forgiven in the presence of that awesome chunky drumline. Those drums will haunt my dreams until I've died and gone up to Principal God's office.